Joseph Cheetham-Wilkinson

Friday, 31 January 2014

Watch Christian children's television on your phone

If you are reading this on January 31st 2014, then you are in for a treat!  Season two of our Christian kids' TV show 'Jovis Bon-Hovis and the Creation Crew' goes to air tomorrow!  Check it out in the UK on Sky channel 585 at 7am, or if you're elsewhere in the world you can watch it live on UCB's website!

You can even watch Christian kids' shows on your iphone or mobile by installing the the kids TV show app!  You'll also get all the other great content from UCB.

To install the Christian video app go to: http://www.ucb.co.uk/app

To watch live go to http://www.ucb.co.uk/live/

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Season Two of Jovis Bon-Hovis and the Creation Crew

WE HAVE AIR DATES! Set your alarms everybody, Season two of Jovis Bon-Hovis and the Creation Crew is coming to your screens very soon!
Episode one will air in the UK on Sky channel 585 on:

Sat Feb 1st at 7am,
Mon Feb 3rd at 8am,
Wed Feb 5th at 4.30pm
Thurs Feb 6th at 8am

If you don't have Sky then don't worry, UCB streams live online worldwide too, just go here: http://www.ucb.co.uk/live/

Got an iPhone? Why not install the app and you and your kids can watch the Creation Crew anywhere! Find it here: http://www.ucb.co.uk/app

So we have prime time before and after school kids' slots, which is brilliant news. Brand new episodes will air weekly in the same slots. Season two has some great new characters including the intimidating and hilarious Mr Bosanti-Crayco brilliantly played by Adrian Page , as well as new puppet characters 'Tortoise A-Thing-Or-Two' and the Singing Socks! Much fun to be had that's for sure.

Here's David making sure everything is ready:

Thursday, 5 December 2013

Woodburning stoves installed in canal boats and caravans fitted and built to order.

YOU'VE FOUND IT!

THIS IS THE GREAT PRODUCT AND AMAZING VALUE SERVICE YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR!


We make and install quality, practical woodburing stoves for canal boats and caravans, campers and home use.  Wood burning canal boat and caravan stoves built to order, delivered and installed all over the UK.


If you were considering installing a wood burning stove into a touring caravan or boat consider avoiding the hassle altogether.  Flue diameters, insulation, stove capacity, correct flange fitting are all considerations best left to the experts.  And at a price like this for a canal boat or touring caravan stove built, delivered and fitted then save yourself a big bother!

With over 40 years engineering and outdoor living experience our expert Rob has created a perfect, unique design which takes into consideration all the most important aspects of functionality and design.  Whether you need a little stove to keep your two berth toasty warm, or something bigger for a larger boat, caravan or camper, we will make the stove to a size that suits you, deliver it to you, install it in your boat or caravan and supply everything you need, and then show you how it works.

Our stoves all double up as a traditional hotplated gypsy style boat or caravan stove, so the top can be used for pans and kettles! No need to waste your gas boiling a kettle when there's a stove on the go!

Nothing can make a boating, caravanning or camping experience more beautiful than a lightweight, well designed and practical stove burning real wood right there in your caravan.

Experience and craftsmanship combined with low overheads means we are able to offer a bespoke service at a price that would make many chandlers and caravan stove companies blush!  Our design costs just £100 for the stove alone (regardless of size, a larger stove doesn't cost more as it is slightly easier to construct) we will then supply all the necessary fitting and install the stove in your boat or caravan for £150.  Delivery is charged at £1 per mile one way, calculated using AA routeplanner from Eccleshall, Staffordshire.  To clarify, to have a large or small wood-burning stove fitted in your caravan in place of an existing gas heater, or fitted in a cupboard space, including all materials and delivery to a client living 25 miles from us would be a total of £275.  No hidden extras, up and running. Order line 07528 007872.

We are happy to install a stove you have already purchased for £150 plus travel, or provide only the stove for £100 if required.

Please consider, if you are over 60-70 miles away it would be very helpful if you could offer accommodation for one night.  The caravan or boat itself will be perfectly fine.

Boat and caravan woodburning stoves installation fitting service Staffordshire UK installed and fitted.

YOU'VE FOUND IT!

THIS IS THE INCREDIBLE PRODUCT AND AMAZING VALUE SERVICE YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR!


We make and install high quality, practical woodburing stoves for canal boats and caravans, campers and home use.  Wood burning canal boat and caravan stoves built to order, delivered and installed all over the UK.

If you were considering installing a wood burning stove into a touring caravan or boat consider avoiding the hassle altogether.  Flue diameters, insulation, stove capacity, correct flange fitting are all considerations best left to the experts.  And at a price like this for a canal boat or touring caravan stove built, delivered and fitted then save yourself the bother!

With over 40 years engineering and outdoor living experience our expert Rob has created a perfect, unique design which takes into consideration all the most important aspects of functionality and design.  Whether you need a little stove to keep your two berth toasty warm, or something bigger for a larger boat, caravan or camper, we will make the stove to a size that suits you, deliver it to you, install it in your boat or caravan and supply everything you need, and then show you how it works.

Our stoves all double up as a traditional hotplated gypsy style boat or caravan stove, so the top can be used for pans and kettles! No need to waste your gas boiling a kettle when there's a stove on the go!

Nothing can make a boating, caravanning or camping experience more beautiful than a lightweight, well designed and practical stove burning real wood right there in your caravan.

Experience and craftsmanship combined with low overheads means we are able to offer a bespoke service at a price that would make many chandlers and caravan stove companies blush!  Our design costs just £100 for the stove alone (regardless of size, a larger stove doesn't cost more as it is slightly easier to construct) we will then supply all the necessary fitting and install the stove in your boat or caravan for £150.  Delivery is charged at £1 per mile one way, calculated using AA routeplanner from Eccleshall, Staffordshire.  To clarify, to have a large or small wood-burning stove fitted in your caravan in place of an existing gas heater, or fitted in a cupboard space, including all materials and delivery to a client living 25 miles from us would be a total of £275.  No hidden extras, up and running. Order line 07528 007872.

We are happy to install a stove you have already purchased for £150 plus travel, or provide only the stove for £100 if required.

Please consider, if you are over 60-70 miles away it would be very helpful if you could offer accommodation for one night.  The caravan or boat itself will be perfectly fine.

Making a kids TV show

A great day filming at UCB yesterday! Things are coming on apace with season two, the songs sound great and the show is funnier than ever! I am sure that kids and dare I say it, the odd adult are going to love it! 

Adrian Page as Mr Bosanti-Crayco will have you laughing, a side of him you've never seen before, what a star!

I'm not certain of the exact date, but broadcast is scheduled in for February! So a whole new batch of antics will be hitting your screens in less than 3 months!

As ever there will be lots of clips to watch on our Youtube channel, and we'll be sure to keep you updated here!

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Christian kids' songs!

I can't say how thrilled I am to have these little tackers enjoying my song in the USA!  Well done kids!  And well done to the guitarist for all the hard work he's put in with these children.  It may seem like just a little thing, but this is the very reason I wrote this song; so kids could laugh, be silly have fun and shout 'Thank you!' up to a God who they feel is a smiling, joyful Creator.

I am especially impressed with the little sweetheart about 3 minutes in who goes for it so wholeheartedly.  Well done you!


Monday, 25 November 2013

How to make a TV show on a low micro budget.

I must admit,  I hesitate to share this stuff.  I don't want to shatter any illusions. The setup we have at UCB for creating our main show, Jovis Bon-Hovis and the Creation Crew is a very good setup, multi camera shoot, great quality equipment, top notch lighting rigs with all the lighting you could ask for, sound-proofing, separate gallery with multiple monitors and facilities for remote live camera switching, high quality radio microphones and so much more!



On top of that, as anybody who understands production and production values will clearly see, we have various experts specializing in their own areas.  We have somebody who knows all about lighting, and expert at editing, camera people and sound technicians, as well as myself being responsible for creating the content of the shows.

So the end result of our main Christian kids' TV show Jovis Bon-Hovis and the Creation Crew, although it is produced on an extremely tight budget, is nice and clean and polished.

Now compare that to the work I do in the home studio.  I am having to face the reality that it is impossible to achieve the same kinds of results as one person working alone with very limited equipment.  But the challenge is an exciting and inspiring one, to milk every last drop of potential out of the equipment and opportunities I have.



I don't feel I have done that yet, 20 years ago my setup would have seemed pretty dreamy to a budding producer; instant high definition movies edited live on screen at the click of a mouse at a cost many would find affordable.  And I am certain that there are many ways I can improve on the productions I am attempting at the moment.  I find myself pining for more lights, more space, more cameras, more people, but if I think about it, I don't imagine God will bless me with those things until He knows I have fulfilled the potential of everything He's given me so far.

So that's what I am going to do.  I have every intention of producing a higher volume and broader range of Christian media, a Christian chat show, a family quiz, another children's show, more songs and kids music perhaps from other artists.  But now is a time of honing and milking skills, and making the very best of what I have, so that when the time comes to move up a step, invest in more equipment, bring in some help and setup a more significant studio I will be ready to fully utilize it properly.  I don't think that time is too far away, it 'feels' close at hand.

Anyway, I thought you may be interested in having a little look at the setup.  In these pictures you can see the lighting arrangement, ordinary domestic lamps but with 100 watt halogen bulbs, pumping out a good amount of light.  They were about £3 each at a charity shop, and the bulbs about £2 each. The backgrounds are cardboard boxes which had contained a TV, and the paints are my kids' poster paints.  I ink the edges with an ordinary black marker.

The space I use is the garage, and it is extremely tight; it is still used as a garage and is shared with kids' bikes and tools!  Quite a squash!  My camera for home shoots is an ordinary digital video camera, a Sanyo Xacti.  It is full HD, but not so good indoors.  Lovely for outside in the bright light, but the colour balance seems to let it down on my little home set.  You can pick one up on ebay for £30-£35.

So camera and lighting with bulbs would cost about £75.  The tinfoil you can see shaped around the lamps is remarkably successful, I have simply curved and shaped the foil into a bowl shape and folded the foil several times to increase the thickness.  Be sure to get baking foil and not wrapping foil to cope with intense heat from the bulbs.  This intensifies the light and enables you to direct it.

On the ceiling you can see something that looks like tracing paper which softens and disperses some of the light, it's important that some of the main lights are dispersed like this. Try it both ways to get a taste for why and how it works.  I was fortunate enough to be given a bit of colour neutral professional stuff, but tracing paper will do the job.   So you'll have to spend a fiver on that.  The most significant outlay will be the machine you use to edit because sadly there is a minimum standard you simply must purchase, otherwise you'll just tear your hair out when you can't edit.  You can pick up a used machine which will just about handle HD editing for £200.  Possibly less if you're canny, so come on, friends and neighbours???

There's a massive amount of software out there trying to grab your attention, including some very high-end stuff which has a very low yearly subscription called Lightworks.  Amazing kit, but very top-end.  Is that really what you need?  I find Magix movie edit pro fast and easy, intuitive and fun and it cost me £29.

In a home studio you can get away with an old-fashioned hand-held mic, or a mic on a table or suspended from a rafter, radio tie-mics are very expensive.  You'll also need some kind of usb preamp interface, to plug the mics into, which then runs into your pc enabling you to manage the sound.  You can plug a mic into your pc directly of course, but...just don't!  My mic cost me £19, and a preamp can cost anywhere from £12 upwards.  Spend a little more if you can.  I use the Saffire 6 usb, which came with an extremely good and immeasurably helpful 8 track sound recorder which I use very very often.  I would recommend it, Ableton Live Light 8 Alesis edition, or whichever software you can get for cheap.  You can edit the entire soundtrack for your movie with ease, and create music for it all on the same piece of software.  Extremely helpful.  Use a midi keyboard (£30) to make the whole music production process simpler, even if you don't play the piano it's just helpful to have this keyboard as an input device.  Ideal for making a simple theme tune, background music which you will fully own the rights to enabling you to monetise your videos on Youtube.

So there you have it, a simple HD studio setup for aroud £400.

But before you prepare to hit the big time, let's have a look at the differences in what is achieved with the two different ways of producing, here's is an example of the $400 setup:

And here is an example of the tens of thousands setup with numerous experts hands:
The end!

Monday, 18 November 2013

How to make money online and get rich.

A get rich quick scheme article honestly translated by Joseph Cheetham-Wilkinson.

Are you tired of the daily grind?  Don't want to earn an honest crust doing proper work anymore?  Think the world owes you a living?  YOU CAN!

Just look at these pictures of piles of money and fast cars.  Do you want to have bikini ladies like this too?  With our new secret express market cash-wad internet trawler, IT DOES!  And you can have men too if you are a lady. (Refer to 'Bikini body in 2 weeks' link if you are morbidly obese)

With our tried and tested system of sending out never ending spam, you too could spend your days forwarding e-mails JUST LIKE THIS ONE!  FOR REAL!

And the more people you get, YES!

Sandra, a single mum from Brighton says: 'I really couldn't be bothered with any actual work, there's Jeremy Kyle, Bargain hunt, and so much more!  I like to arrange my sofa so I can be on facebook, text, watch Jezza and still have a free hand for my Lambrini.  With this amazing new scheme, and benefits, WATCH IT GROW!
 Do something useful.
Bill from Wigan spams all day everyday, promising the same rubbish he was promised.  Bill is unable to deliver but still hopes that if he scoops up enough suckers like himself he'll be able to bleed time from their lives to see some of the benefits he was promised in the email he is now sending out. WEALTH!

You too can't earn any money!  Are you sick and tired of all the endless internet get-rich quick schemes promising you piles of cash for no effort?  This one is just the same in every way!  SEX!

Join now, and in three short months you could be seeing credits of up to 17p per month APPEARING in your account.

There's no need to be productive, there's no need to use your God given talents and work hard to produce something of value that the world needs!  Just spend your life scrapping with the millions of other bottom feeders for the crumbs dropped from the tables of the people who have actually earned some money.

We don't blame you for being a bit dense, in fact we BANK on it! BOOBIES.


Thursday, 14 November 2013

Christian Youtube channel hits 1000 subscribers.

1,000 subscribers on the Youtube channel and growing folks! A happy day today, as our Youtube channel, which is the official Youtube home of Jovis Bon-Hovis and the Creation Crew hit One Thousand subscribers! That number continues to rise as viewers from all over the world are coming across our wonderful kids' content more and more. Have a look at our new channel trailer, which really seems to sum up the channel nicely I think, please share and comment! God bless you all! x

Monday, 11 November 2013

Kids songs versus Christian kids' songs.

Some feedback would be appreciated here.

Obviously the market for general children's content such as alphabet songs, numeracy songs and classic fun kids' songs like nursery rhymes and the like is going to be far larger than the market for Christian kids' songs.

Should I be focusing only on creating good quality Christian kids songs and worship songs, kids' praise and the like, or should I diversify on the channel and create more general Children's content? The idea is, if I am creating more general kids content which will appeal to a wider audience then I may well get children and families watching my good Christian content and Christian kids' songs which they might not otherwise come across, making for an effective ministry and a powerful outreach. So it works well in practical terms regarding growing and audience and business potential (which of course I have a duty to consider as a father raising a family) but also seems a wise strategy in terms of reaching people with a positive Christian message.

I guess I'm struggling in my own mind to target my market, I'm not settled as to who I am trying to reach. I also want to create content for adults, which would be Christian, but I don't really want a whole separate channel...

Any thoughts?

Here's my newest Christian kids song anyway. I'm really pleased with the song, but the video is not up to standard. Talk about dancing like your dad! Yep, that's me right there, daddy! Can you believe I was cool once? Seems like a LONG time ago now! Still, the tiny tots like it!!!

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

New youtube channel

Have a look at some of my new videos on my new channel 'Andy In The Drawer'.  This is just a silly private project, it's me having a bit of fun with my alter-ego Andy, a little guy who lives in my desk drawer!  It's something of a spoof of the 'How to Draw' tutorials which are all over youtube, evidently I'm not the best artist, and not really in a position to be showing people how to do it, fortunately my helping hand Andy thinks I'm the best artist ever.  Or does he???

Check it out here!

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Kids alphabet song ABC phonics kids song video.

Have you seen our new kids alphabet song?  It's a great fun happy version of the classic, sung through twice with a new puppet character.  The first time it's sung through the normal way, and the second time it's sung using the sounds of the letters phonetically.  It's a great fun way of learning the alphabet which kids will really enjoy, and the letters appear on screen in capitals and lower case.

PLEASE SHARE THIS VIDEO ON YOUR FACEBOOK, BLOG OR WEBSITE, THANKS!

Non-Christian videos on Youtube

You may have noticed some diversification on the Youtube channel.

The main Youtube channel has been re-named 'Kids' Songs Forever', and there are some key reasons for that.  The Christian kids' songs are the elements of the show which get the most views, obviously this is because they work as stand-alone videos.  The clips get less views as they are just that; clips.  Being just brief sections of the show they have limited use.

The channel will remain the online video home of all things to do with 'Jovis Bon-Hovis and the Creation Crew', but an important decision has been made to include videos on the channel which are not directly Christian.  There are two main reasons for this, one noble and one practical.

Firstly, it's very difficult to run a business on such a small and niche market, namely Christian Children's Media.  We needed to broaden our target.

Secondly, and this is crucial, we are keen to serve God in everything we produce.  Drawing a non-Christian demographic into an arena where they will find Christian content presents a rare opportunity to share the good news, speak openly about Jesus and normalise a relationship with God in a media environment where the two types of movie would not normally be found together.

Christian-only content will tend to preach to the converted, and reach children in Christian families.  Broadening our range will enable us to reach those who would not otherwise come across religious content.

Monday, 4 November 2013

How much money can I make putting videos on Youtube?

This question doesn't get any less relevant to the millions of wanna be Youtube stars out there who want to make a living from people telling them they are awesome, and by sitting in front of a computer all day.  First of all, I'll give you a straight answer which you may be looking for, but please read on; it's not as simple as it may all appear.



You can expect to make about roughly somewhere between £1-£2 for every thousand monetised views you get on Youtube.  In US dollars I guess that's $1.50-$3.00.  But it's not an exact science, there are so many variables to take into consideration.

Firstly, getting those thousand views is extremely difficult.  At first glance it may look as if all vids on youtube have several thousand/hundred thousand views, so a few bucks per vid is easy right?  But how often do you go to page ten, page 100, page 1000 of the results, and see the many many MILLIONS of videos which have 3 views, 13 views, 19 views.  The videos which have over a thousand and could earn you a buck are a drop in the ocean.

That said, don't give up!  There are people who make a living from their youtube vids.  I am starting to make some amount of money, enough that it's worth doing.  The crucial thing is this; have you got good quality content which people will want to watch to the end?  Are you able to produce such content consistently, regularly, and over a long period of time building up a significant body of work ongoing?

Do you have the time to put in to managing and promoting your channel?  Don't bother doing this for a bit of cash on the side, it won't work.  Once you get to the bit of cash on the side stage, you may as well keep going because you've probably broken the back of it!

Ask yourself, are you just another kid wanting to video himself playing Minecraft?  Are you yet another teenager thinking that the world is somehow especially interested in you spouting teen wisdom in front of your webcam?  If so, go away, have another think.  If it feels easy, you're wasting your time.  If you think just you as yourself are so ace and cool the world owes it to you to make you a star, go away.  Come back when you've thought about this:

What do you have that nobody else has?  What are you good at which is special to you?  What do you love?  What are you passionate about? Now think about how you can share that in a way nobody else has, which is engaging, enlightening, interesting and tight.  Then go and learn about film editing.

If you are deadly serious and this is your career, it absolutely can be done, but it will take all the energy and commitment of any other career, with all the frustration, hard work, set-backs and frustrations.  It is likely to be a couple of years before you start really 'getting it', and figure out how to bring everything together into a solid income and a lifestyle.  Of course you may have a viral video that catapults you into international stardom overnight...oh wait, no you won't.  Hard work and a good product, there is no easy fast buck, apart from a lottery.  And you can't live your life hoping on that.

Saturday, 2 November 2013

Saturday, 24 August 2013

Christian kids TV production diary update


WOW!  What a week!  Filming at UCB has been a real pleasure, we are actually on schedule, things are going according to plan and the shows seem better constructed a somewhat more confident than season one.

There have been boxes of slime to sit it, electrocution of furry animals AND Mr Bon-Hovis, excessive lollipop consumption, flying bananas and terrifying giant gorrillas.  And that's just the first few episodes!

Adrian Page is becoming quite the star as an intimidating and boorish Mr Bosanti-Crayco!  All in all, it's coming together as a great set of programmes so far, all with a heart set on encouraging children to take ownership of their own personal relationship with God.

Thursday, 1 August 2013

Christian Kids Movies FULL FREE

CHRISTIAN KIDS MOVIES

For the first time ever enjoy a free Christian kids' movie from the TV show Jovis Bon-Hovis and the Creation Crew.  A full half hour episode for you to enjoy again and again!

Monday, 15 July 2013

How to write a worship song

How to write a worship song.  Singer songwriter Joseph Cheetham-Wilkinson explains some of the meaning and motivation behind his song 'God's Waterfall'.

Joseph Cheetham-Wilkinson creator of the show Jovis Bon-Hovis and the Creation Crew talks about the meaning of one of his songs.

Joseph also writes and produces worship music for adults, enjoy this little video and then see what you think of the music which is played at the end.

 

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Making Christian kids TV at UCB Kids.


Here at the UCB TV studios again today, helping out with Andi and Jack's new links for the summer holidays. Great fun!

They really add some brightness and fun to the links between the shows, 'Broom Cupboard" style. If you're not in the UK, it was a well known puppet and presenter links section on BBC1 in the eighties.
Making Christian kids TV
Stripy Monkey will be doing Jacks 'Either Or" slot, scary! Poor Monkey will be bombarded with questions, and there's no script! It's as impromptu and scary as it looks!
Buy Christian kids DVDs

If your kids aren't already watching UCB in the mornings, it's time for a change! We really are offering a viable alternative to secular kids TV programming, and your children will love it!