How to pray and how to hear from God.

Praying to God and hearing from God is one of the greatest struggles for a lot of Christians.  

While I can't claim to have the be all and end all answer, I can share with you some things which have helped me, and have also helped my wife Ellie as we've grown together and experienced similar development of our relationship with God.

And I'm certainly not talking as a person who has it all sorted, and has led a sound and consistent Christian life with no issues and no struggles.  Oh no!  Have a look at my most recent song on Youtube, I'm sure that if you listen to that you'll know, I understand what it means to feel separate from God.  But a big part of the key is revealed at the end of the song.  It's not a secret, I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you!

Have a listen:



I can remember times as a baby Christian, well perhaps more recently than that too, when I've looked about me at certain people in the church and in my home-groups and the like and felt so terribly inferior.  There are always these people who just seem to have peace, their families are all lovely and pretty, their homes are full of warmth and depth, they seem unshakably kind and at ease.  It seems like they've cracked it.

And all this time we're stressing about money because we can't pay the electric and the car's running on vapours, I'd rather not eat than have beans on toast again (wow, what ingratitude, that attitude kept the Israelites in the desert for 40 years instead of the 10 days it should have taken!), the three year old is a terror and we think she may have ADHD and the teenager wants to explain to you in explicit detail every waking moment what you're wrong about, how you don't understand, how things are different now and that you're so stupid.

I want to scream.  I Do scream sometimes!  Let's go a bit further and tell me if you can relate:  There are certain people who everybody loves, it's as if an angel goes before them scattering spiritual petals on the ground everywhere they walk.  But we're not imagining that in a nice way are we?  We're just jealous because we walked into church again and were ignored, nobody smiled at us and asked us how we were so we went and sat in a corner and had horrible thoughts about everyone else, especially the ones everybody likes!

But a strange thing started to happen a few years ago which was fundamentally entwined with prayer, my relationship with God and with my wife.

I started to notice that as new people came into church, and as I began to expand my circle of relationships WE began to appear like those 'sorted' people to the newcomers!  Oh what fools they are if only they knew!  But it raises an interesting point; you just don't know where people have come from or what they're going through.  And I think in the end, fundamentally across all of humanity there are two different kinds of people who are poles apart. One shines and the other doesn't.  One is full of life and the other isn't.  One whose struggles and tests have made them beautiful and one whose haven't.  And you fall in one camp or the other.

And what defines them is simply this:  One has chosen to be a giver, and the other is a taker.

Acts 20.35; the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'

I may seem to have gone off on a bit of a tangent but I will circle back to my main point now.  Firstly, something comes from God which makes us WANT to be the giving type.  This is the fundamental difference between legalism and love.  Two people can do the same work, one can be motivated by fear, and the other by love.  And you are not saved by your works, you are saved by grace and remember, the Lord looks at the heart!  And love covers a multitude of sins too, so imagine if by inspiration of the Holy Spirit you feel a joyful compulsion to serve God and administer the love He's shared with you.  What goodness you will be pouring out into the world.

Conversely you can have a belief but not connect it with the Lord by seeking Him and connecting with Him in prayer, your good works will likely stem from a head knowledge that you SHOULD be a good person, and that God is big and powerful and scary.  You will end up feeling drained, not refreshed, unfulfilled, and crucially you will feel resentful to the people you are giving to, you will feel as if they owe you something!  Eventually this type of giving will be exhausted, it will stop and leave you bitter and unclear as to why you were doing it, as well as confused about your relationship with God.

This is why it is said in James 2, ²⁶ For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

So these two different types of people aren't separated by whether or not they're nice or nasty, wanting to do good or can't be bothered, but simply by whether or not they are driven by a deep connection with God by the presence and constant refreshing of His Holy Spirit within us.

God is the source of everything that's good in the universe.  We have some sort of understanding of it of course because it's programmed into our nature, we're made in His image after all.  But we become exhausted if we're not connected to the inexhaustible source.

I expect everyone reading this understands that somehow the death of Jesus, who when he walked the earth was a sinless man ( the only one ever, being God in human form ) acted as a sort of payment for our badness.  And God, being all perfect and lovely wasn't able to connect with us the way He'd like when we were all lost in general imperfection! So that was a very thoughtful and considerate thing for Him to do.  What this means is that we are now able to engage directly with God through His Holy Spirit, as long as we acknowledge Jesus when we attempt to.  This acknowledgement changes something in our spirit, and opens up a sort of access point which allows God in.  Without acknowledging Jesus it's a bit like calling out for somebody whilst holding the door shut...

So we're off to a flying start then if we make a few assumptions.  
We can get to God, He has made it possible for us.  We are promised that, and I think He's trustworthy!

A believer's prayer is a powerful thing and faith comes from hearing the message, so read a reasonable chunk of scripture daily.  Don't believe anybody who says you just need to choose a passage and meditate on that regularly.  You do that as well, not instead of reading a good portion, at least a chapter or two every day.  It stops being a chore very quickly.

Ask God for His presence, and ask Him to fill you with His Holy Spirit.

Ask God to open up Scripture to you.

Listen for answers.  Thinking you can't hear from God is actually another way of saying you don't trust His ability to speak to you.  He certainly can speak to you.  Pray specific prayers and ask specific questions, and then pause in the quiet and listen for answers.

Always use the name of Jesus.

Have absolute confidence in the name.

If you feel any sense of unease or tension, stress or frustration in the room, have a little celebration, and sing out loud to Jesus!  Maybe the devil doesn't want you to pray, which means you're surely on the right track!  Just lift your arms and command any evil spirits out of the room in Jesus' name, tell them the room belongs to Jesus and you belong to Jesus.  Say it all with a smile and sing praises to His name.  It's happened to me once or twice and it's a wonderful thing to see the power of His name transform a room.  Just keep going until you can tell in your spirit that something has changed and the bad atmosphere has left.  Don't get cross or angry, do it all with confidence and peace, and celebration.  The change WILL happen.

Persevere.  God is always with us, but so often we bring so much mental and spiritual junk to the alter it can take some time for us to settle into our prayer.  Don't let your prayer time be a two minute in and out.  Persevere, it's something that can be learned.

Find your own way, ask God to teach you how to pray in the way that's right for you.

Be bold and confident in approaching the throne of grace.  Never think to yourself  'I wonder if god will be there for me today.', but assume He will be!

Learn to recognise the voice of the Holy Spirit within you.  There is now something wonderful living inside you which you were not born with, a living and Holy spirit from God, learn to recognise Him talking to you, the difference between Him and your own thoughts.  Ask Jesus to help you.

Ask God to teach you how to live, and what kind of a person to be.  Ask Him to change you into the kind of person He wants you to be.  Let this be your prayer every day, ask Him to motivate and inspire you, ask Him to change your heart to love the things He loves and ask Him to fill you with good, Godly and Holy wisdom.

Keep doing that.

Pray for other people as well as yourself.  Pray big prayers, don't be afraid to pray against what seems hopeless such as war and famine.

Pray specific prayers for specific situations in home and personal life too.  Make sure you recognise when the answer comes!

Pray every morning before you get up and every night before you sleep.  Shoot little prayers up to the throne all day whenever something comes up.

If you are married, start praying together every day.  this might be very embarrassing if you've never done it before, but it has the power to change your life and transform your marriage.   Stick at it!

Do what God says!  If you start praying regularly in Jesus name, and listening out for God in a way you haven't done before isn't it just possible he might tell you there are things you need to change about your life? Did you ever ask God about your career before?  Are you doing what HE intended? Did you ever ask him about your career or your house which you've bought with a huge loan?  Did you ask God where you should live?  Consider it's possible that your mind may not have been completely in tune with God's your whole life!

Be obedient from now on, and begin enjoying your life the way God intended.